I'm so in love!

I have to tell you, I have the best husband and daughter! Tonight we went for sushi and Natalie went with us. I knew she was an adventurous eater, but who knew she was this great? One of my all time biggest pet peeves is picky eaters, so in our rolls as parents Kenny and I strive to not exclaim when we don't care for something. Thanks especially to Kenny since he is the one with aversions to some foods. I mean when we got married he didn't like mustard. What? I think I would eat a cricket if it were covered in enough chocolate or spice. Yuck, did I just say that :)? Anyway, back to my wonderful daughter, she was not only great dinner company (inside voice, polite to waitress, ordered her own food, sat in her seat even at the end when Mommy & Daddy were finishing up and talking) OMG this would have been enough but this girl had to steal my heart again just like she has from the beginning. She ate SUSHI and liked it! She ate edamame and miso soup and exclaimed "Mommy can I have some more?" We were just sitting there, Natalie with her noodles and us with our sushi and she looks at us and says "can I have some of that", picks up a piece of volcano roll and puts it in her mouth. Aghh- heem, she just turned 3 years old!







Okay, okay maybe I'm bragging a bit, but that is my right as a parent, right? And what better place than here? I am so thrilled knowing how her open mind will serve her in her life. Yeah for her! Yeah for us that we can have a dinner like this. Yeah that Natalie has an open mind, this is one of my great wishes for her in her life and tonight it was displayed to me ten fold.
So why am I so excited about a sushi dinner other than the aforementioned? Ken and I have started trying for another baby and I feel my time coming to a close. I must get my sushi and sake in now! I'm pretty sure you only crave things when you can't have them. My plan is to eat enough so I don't crave it when I can't have it.
Thank you to my family for such a wonderful night! I love you two!

Circus!

Friday night we took Natalie to the Circus for the first time. We just thought she would have fun but she and we had a blast! It really is true about the circus being for kids of all ages. Who knew elephants and clowns could be so entertaining?

We got there early so we could see the animal open house and the pre-show. We got to see an elephant paint, dogs do tricks, acrobats and a hula girl. This was a lot of fun too. We were right down on the floor of the Frank Erwin center and up close and personal with the performers and animals. Can I just say I want to pet an elephant? They are amazing animals. Natalie said she wanted one for a pet and for a second I thought "That would be so cool, we should buy some land". Then I remembered I pay people to come scoop my two dog's poop out of the yard. I don't think Dog Duty does elephants.

Natalie was looking forward to seeing tigers and elephants so when the show began with just performers dancing this is what I was hearing...

"Mommy I don't like this show, I don't like it at all."

We explained to her that the circus was ever changing and that the animals were soon to come. Here is what she looked like when the animals finally came out. I guess this is the beside yourself look?

The most hilarious thing about this whole thing was that Natalie learned how to "cheer" at an event. The clowns wanted to everyone to make noise so everyone was clapping and "whooo-hoooing". Natalie looked at me like "what is going on?" I told her she could scream too. She took me literally" ..... "Aggghhhhh" like you are scared out of your mind or someone just jumped out at you. This is how she started. By the end of the show she was "whoooo-hooooing" along with everyone else. She is so smart, she learned how to conform.

By the end of the circus, we had eaten cotton candy (a must), a hot dog, nachos, and three waters. We also purchased a light up toy for Natalie and a stuffed elephant which Natalie later named Ellie. Kenny and I could have had a pretty nice sushi dinner for the cash we shelled out this night. It was worth it though. We all had a great time and I will gladly go again next year.

You Call That an Awning?!

My neighbors next door have decided they need some more shade outside one of their windows. Unfortunately for me this window is right outside one of MY windows. They have "fashioned" an awning after several attempts at other devices including an outdoor umbrella that looked like a palapa except instead of thatching it was made of beige trash bag material. I wish that had worked out since this "Awning" is all I see now out my dining room window. Even though this has to be against the H.O.A. guidelines I cannot complain because I am the only unfortunate one who can see it.

Now I am showing you these pictures but I'm sure they probably have a patent on this design so don't run off and copy them. This is some fine craftsmanship! You know you have a quality product when it is tied in place with string to your nearby bushes. I think the two different materials and sagging cost extra. Now, other than the drought we are in I have another reason to wish for a big rainstorm. I'm pretty sure a strong wind could take this thing out. Until then I will continue to laugh at it instead of let it bother me :) Come on rain!

Laurel Kate

So I can't in good conscience continue this blog until I address a huge part of my life that I have lost. My precious second daughter, Laurel Kate, was stillborn at 24 weeks on May 24, 2008. She was 1 pound 7 ounces and 12 inches long. I miss her so much. I wish I could hold her again. I couldn't imagine that this could happen to me, to us. I couldn't imagine that I would have the strength to endure this. Thank God for my husband, he is such an excellent man. If my life flashed before my eyes, the two images that I know would flash would be of him holding Natalie for the first time and Laurel for the first time. Even though Laurel was only 24 weeks old she looked so much like her older sister. She was just perfect. Her perfect little feet were the size of my thumbprint. I will forever cherish the time we had together and I have faith that we will be reunited with her one day.


I was so excited that I was going to have another baby girl to love and that Natalie would have a sister to grow up with. Natalie was so aware of what was going on with me, Laurel taught Natalie about how she grew in mommy's tummy too. I am so grateful to her for that.

We are managing day to day and it is getting easier to have happy feelings about her than just sad all the time. I am looking forward to a second chance. What I learned most from this whole life experience is that I want another baby. I haven't been the type that says how much she loves being pregnant. I am usually somewhere on the opposite side of the spectrum. Hating how my face is broken out and my boobs have their own gravitational pull. I was excited that I would be done having babies by 30. Now all of that is out of the window, I can actually say that I am looking forward to being pregnant again! Maybe that is what I am supposed to learn from this whole experience. I love being a mom, maybe I can learn to love being pregnant if God blesses me with another chance.


Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child.
The one that died you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing,
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she will be missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine”.
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a life time.

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First Post

This is my first post, I am brand new to this thing. Some of my friends said I needed a blog and after thinking "no way, why would I ever need a blog? Who would read it?" I decided that maybe I really do need one. If everyone else can so can I :).
I met my husband, Kenny to me but Ken to the professional world, in college at Texas A&M. Okay here come the Aggie jokes. He was in a fraternity and I was in a sorority (TKE & XO respectively) and we met through my roommate. I fell in love with him on a date party trip to New Orleans. Cheesy but that is what happened. We knew each other for a while before but this trip sealed the deal. We were married September 8, 2001. Mind you that is 3 days prior to 9-11. We left a day later for our honeymoon than we planned because the plane we were supposed to take the day after the wedding had hydraulic brake problems and they cancelled the flight. Thus we went home drank a bunch of wine and opened all our wedding presents. That was a ton of fun. Our shuttle to the airport came at 3am the next morning so the mimosa in first class was great! We honeymooned in the Bahamas (b.t.w. I don't care to vacation there again). The company on our honeymoon was great but the morning after we got there 9-11 happened. After we finished breakfast we noticed the Bahamians and everyone else were freaking out. The airports were closed and we were stuck. Wow, I can't believe that was almost 7 years ago!


So back to the US finally and on with our married life. We bought our house pretty soon after we married and spent the next 3 years DINKing it up. (Dual Income No Kids). Fixing up the house, going out, and spending money whenever we felt like it. Then came the best surprise ever.....
NATALIE! Our 3 year old daughter. Born May 29, 2005 weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 oz. Here we are when she was about 5 months old. She is the cutest and smartest little girl if I do say so myself. Wise beyond her years. She started speaking whole sentences by the time she was 18 months and telling stories by 2 years. At 3 she is definitely a chatter box. This fact has made me realize that when a child asks "why" over and over again to all of your answers, 99% of the time it all boils down to "because of physics". To this I usually get an "oh" or "okay" and that is the end of that. She is fearless which makes me worry about her teenage years which will be here faster than I want. If these last three are any indication, time is going to fly by from here on out. Hopefully we will all make it through her teenage years relatively unharmed and she will go to college and grow up. Yikes, I am going to miss her so much when she leaves the nest. Kenny thinks she should be a doctor but I am convinced this little one will own her own construction company one day. If I could teach her anything I want her to know that she can do anything she puts her mind to. I like to think maybe I blazed a trail she can follow one day. Here is a picture of our Natalie now :) I think she may like princesses. She is the best thing that has happened to us definitely! She has made my life so much happier and strange as it may sound, much easier to bear the hard things in life. Family is great that way, I am learning that more and more on my journey through life.